Blind Date by Barbra Streisand

Fanny & chorus
Smooth the sofa, plump the pillows
Dump the ashtrays, oh this dress
Look at me i am shaking all over,
Shaking all over
I'm a mess
Waiting wondering what i'll be thinking
When he comes walking through that door

What'll come walking through that door
A man i never saw in my life before
Oh,
I am so nervous
I got a blind date waiting to call on me (any minute now)
I got a blind date what am i gonna see (any minute now)
Right over there's the doorway, he will be walking through
Will he be six foot eight or maybe four foot two (it could happen)

I got a blind date waiting to come around (any minute now)
Oy but i'm nervous listen to my heart pound
Why do i need this headache, single is not a crime
I got a blind date
An with my luck he'll be on time

I got a girlfriend shirley, who says why not (she's an idiot)
This guy is a friend from a friend of a friend she got (hello, how do you do
What an idiot)
One thing i know is shirley ain't sitting on no shelf
If he was such a vow she'd keep him for herself (it's only natural)
She says she is he's nice and he deals in stocks (sounds good, but she's an
Idiot)
I'll bet a buck he looks like month-old lox (also and idiot)
What do i need from shirley her and her fifty cup
I got a blind date and i'm praying he stands me up

Wait wait, what am i praying he stands me up, i'll stand him up. i smell a rat
Anyway. umm. i'm gonna hide under the bed, he'll never see me, he'll walk in and look
Around, i wouldn't be there, he'll go away and that's the end of that.
Perrfect!
Now you keep quiet, not a word you hear
You didn't see a thing
Oeps there he is!
Now quiet everybody sssh quiet!

Blind date: rosalie?!
Rosalie: oi, oi, oi
Blind date: rosalie?! that's odd she doesn't seem to be here
Rosalie: smart, smart!
Blind date: i've been stood up, it's news
Rosalie: well it's better than put down
Blind date: this has never happened before
Rosalie: what and ego!
Blind date: rosalie?!
Rosalie: sh, sh, sh!
Rosalie: it worked, it worked!
He never saw me. boy am i lucky i didn't see him neither,
But i can just imagine what a lox that one was.

Rosalie: i got it right her shirley was playing tricks
Voice: no, no, that's wrong, you got it wrong
Rosalie: wait, wait, what that's not right?
Voice: no, he was gorgeous he looked like rudolph
Rosalie: rudolph who?
Voice: rudolph valentino
Rosalie: get away
Voice: yeah, the sheik from arabia
Rosalie: not the phantom from the opera?
Voice: uh, uh
Rosalie: the sheik from where?
Voice: the sheik from arabia
Rosalie: get away
Voice: that's right
Rosalie: wait a minute is this person kidding me around here?
Voice: no, no absolutely
Rosalie: get away
Rosalie: well that's what happened i let him get away

What do i'll do now maybe become a nun (that's impossible)
I'm calling shirley maybe she'll bring a gun
Please shirley, even if he's lon chaney fat, bald or short or tall
Having a blind date is better than having
No date, at no time with no one at all.
Wait a minute maybe i spoke too soon
Shirley get me out of here!
Oh this one is cute.