The Booklovers by Divine Comedy, The

"this book deals with epiphenomenalism, which has to do with consciousness as a mere accessory of physiological processes whose presence or absence... makes no difference... whatever are yo
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Aphra benn: hello
Cervantes: donkey
Daniel defoe: to christen the day!
Samuel richardson: hello
Henry fielding: tittle-tattle tittle-tattle...
Lawrence sterne: hello
Mary wolstencraft: vindicated!
Jane austen: here i am!
Sir walter scott: we're all doomed!
Leo tolstoy: yes!
Honoré de balzac: oui...
Edgar allen poe: aaaarrrggghhhh!
Charlotte brontë: hello...
Emily brontë: hello...
Anne brontë: hellooo..?
Nikolai gogol: vas chi
Gustav flaubert: oui
William makepeace thackeray: call me 'william makepeace thackeray'
Nathaniel hawthorne: the letter 'a'
Herman melville: ahoy there!
Charles dickens: london is so beautiful this time of year...
Anthony trollope: good-good-good-good evening!
Fyodor dostoevsky: here come the sleepers...
Mark twain: i can't even spell 'mississippi'!
George eliot: george reads german
Emile zola: j'accuse
Henry james: howdy miss wharton!
Thomas hardy: ooo-arrr!
Joseph conrad: i'm a bloody boring writer...
Katherine mansfield: [cough cough]
Edith wharton: well hello, mr james!
Dh lawrence: never heard of it
Em forster: never heard of it!

Happy the man, and happy he alone who in all honesty can call today his own;
He who has life and strength enough to say 'yesterday's dead & gone - i want to live today'

James joyce: hello there!
Virginia woolf: i'm losing my mind!
Marcel proust: je me'en souviens plus
F scott fitzgerald: baa bababa baa
Ernest hemingway: i forgot the....
Hermann hesse: oh es ist alle so häßlich
Evelyn waugh: whoooaarr!
William faulkner: tu connait william faulkner?
Anaïs nin: the strand of pearls
Ford maddox ford: any colour, as long as it's black!
Jean-paul sartre: let's go to the dome, simone!
Simone de beauvoir: c'est exact present
Albert camus: the beach... the beach
Franz kafka: what do you want from me?!
Thomas mann: mam
Graham greene: call me 'pinky', lovely
Jack kerouac: me car's broken down...
William s burroughs: wowwww!

Happy the man, and happy he alone who in all honesty can call today his own;
He who has life and strength enough to say 'yesterday's dead & gone - i want to live today'

Kingsley amis: [cough]
Doris lessing: i hate men!
Vladimir nabokov: hello, little girl...
William golding: achtung busby!
Jg ballard: instrument binnacle
Richard brautigan: how are you doing?
Milan kundera: i don't do interviews
Ivy compton burnett: hello...
Paul theroux: have a nice day!
G¨¹nter grass: i've found snails!
Gore vidal: oh, it makes me mad!
John updike: run rabbit, run rabbit, run, run, run...
Kazuro ishiguro: ah so, old chap!
Malcolm bradbury: stroke john steinbeck, stroke jd salinger
Iain banks: too orangey for crows!
As byatt: nine tenths of the law, you know...
Martin amis: [burp]
Brett easton ellis: aaaaarrrggghhh!
Umberto eco: i don't understand this either...
Gabriel garcia marquez: mi casa es su casa
Roddy doyle: ha ha ha!
Salman rushdie: names will live forever...