Fatty McGee by Adam Sandler

[Talking quietly]
[M1:] "Ms. Murphy is such a pain, man."
[M2:] "We just had a test a week ago.
Now we gotta take another one tommorrow. This sucks!"
[M1:] "And it counts for 80 percent of our grade."
[M2:] "Well we better study our butts off."
[M1:] "Well we came to the right place, the ever so quiet library."
[M2:] "Ok, enough talking, let's study!"
[M1:] "All right."
[Turning pages]

[Heavy steps]
[M2:] "Uh oh"
[M1:] "Oh no! Fatty McGee is coming.
We'll never get any studying done with him in the library."
[Heavy steps continue]
[M2:] "Oh god, he's taking the stairs!
That means he's going to be way out of breath!"

[Fatty whining, try to catch breath]
[M1:] "Oh no, he's going to sit with us."
[Fatty: Annoying whining voice] "Hey fellas, studying for the big test?"
[M1:] "Uh, yes Fatty, we were."
[Fatty: Still trying to catch breath] "Great! I'll join ya."
[Fatty pulls out chair and falls into it, still whining horribly]
[M2:] "Hey Fatty, why don't you go to the bathroom 'till you catch your breath?"
[Fatty:] "No, no, I'm catching it!"
[Fatty continuing to whine and snort]
[M1:] "Ok, ok Fatty, but try to keep the wheezing level down, we're trying to concentrate."
[Fatty: Continuing to wheeze and whine louder] "Sure, no problem."
[M1:] "Oh man."
[Fatty: Still snorting and whining loudly]
"This test counts for eighty percent of our grade, you know."
[Whining continues even louder]
[M1:] "Yes Fatty, we know, we just said that."
[Wheezing continues a little softer]
[M2:] "Fatty! Please keep it down!"

[Fatty makes snoring/whining sounds]

[M2:] "Is he sleeping!?"
[M1:] "No, it's his deviated sceptum.
Seriously Fatty, keep the breathing down."
[Snoring stops, more weird noise starts]
[M2:] "Ahh geez Fatty, what's wrong with you!?"
[Fatty: Pausing, snorting] "I'm trying."
[Whining continues]
[M1:] "Fatty, you know what's going to happen!
Stop breathing so heavy! Please we gotta study!"
[Whining gets higher and higher until it's continuous]
[M2:] "Oh no, that one's going to do it!"

[Fire alarm sounding, fire trucks honking their horns, sirens reeling]
[M2:] "Fatty, the fire department thinks the fire alarm went off again!"
[Fatty: Continuing his LOUD annoying whine] "I'm sorry!"
[Fireman Ray:] "Fire! Man the building!"
[M1:] "Sorry Fireman Ray, it's not the fire alarm."
[Fireman Ray:] "Fatty McGee, is that you again!?"
[Fatty: Stillin whining annoyingly] "Yes." [Snort] "Sorry." [Snort]
[Fireman Ray:] "Didn't we tell you not to take the stairs anymore!?"
[Fatty: Whiney voice] "But I like the stairs!"
[Fireman Ray: annoyed] "Why!?"
[Fatty: Still whining horribly] "They're fun!"
[Fireman Ray:] "Oh Fatty McGee, you're the fattest!"
[Everyone laughing at stupid joke]
[Raspberry]