As A Rule by Gilbert O'sullivan

Now i'm not, i repeat not anyway a prude
But the sight of two people cavorting on stage
Doing what can only be termed a natural act
Is unless you wear a raincoat only good for a laugh

As a rule, i never smoke while on duty
It just isn't on do i make myself clear
Though at times if there nobody's looking i will
I mean, life's too short and if i didn't smoke i bet
What with the luck that i have
I'd probably die of warty and, that would be that

Who would have thought it was humanly possible
To mate an elephant with a kangaroo
Well as my dear old mother once said in a rage
"next thing you know they'll have pigs an the stage"

Whoever said blue skies were better than red
Must have been talking from out of his hat
I mean whose ever heard of a blue sky at night
Don't like waiting or suffocating
In over crowded tubes
But i like good wine with my dinner don't you
Yes we do