Tv Weather Guy by Arrogant Worms, The

My father was a lawyer, mom's at university
My brother and my sister, they both have their ph.d.
My grampa was a pilot shooting nazis from t he sky
But i am the most famous, i'm a tv weather guy

He smiles at the camera and tells a little joke
H e always says it's sunny if the telestrator's broke
Thinks a meteorologist knows what falls from the sky
But he's got a steady income as a tv weather guy

They said that i'm not qualified to be on the tv
Don't know celsius from fahrenheit so i just say degrees
I just read the temperatures and make up a bunch of lies
And end up being right more than the guy on channel five

He smiles at the camera and tells a little joke
He always says it's sunny if the telestrator's broke
Thinks cloud are made from cotton that have blown up to the sky
But he's got a steady income as a tv weather guy

On saturdays i must be out of bed by five a.m.
Put on a ton of make-up and then stare at the camera lens
Greeting all the viewers with a "hi-hi-hip-hello!"
'cause it's the day i have to host a kiddie cartoon show

He smiles at the camera then to his puppet sock
He raves about the crayon drawings of the family dog
Did a promo at the shopping mall and made the children cry
He's a lousy clown but a good tv weather guy

They said that i'm not cute enough to be an anchorman
Not tough enough for sports and for the arts i was too bland
But i know that some day i will reach my tv goal
When i guest star on baywatch or 90210

'til then i'll smile at the camera and tell a little joke
He always says it's sunny if the telestrator's broke
He wonders why big storms are always named for other guys
But he's got a steady income as a tv weather guy
He's got a steady income as a tv weather guy!