One More Minute by Weird Al Yankovic

Well I heard that your leaving,
Gonna leave me far behind,
That you found a brand new lover,
You decided that I'm not your kind.

So I pulled your name out of my Rolla-dex
And I tore all your pictures in two,
And I burned down the Malt Shop where we used to go,
Just because it reminds me of you.

That's right, you ain't gonna see me cryin'
I'm glad that you found somebody new,
'Cause I'd rather spend eternity eating shards of broken glass,
Than spend one more minute with you.

I guess I might seem kinda bitter
You got me feeling down in the dumps,
'Cause I'm stranded alone in the gas station of love
And I have to use the self-service pumps.

Oh, so honey let me help you with that suitcase
You ain't gonna break my heart in two,
'Cause I'd rather get a hundred papercuts on my face
Than spend one more minute with you.

I'd rather rip out my intestines with a fork
Than watch you going out with other men,
I'd rather slap my fingers in a door
Again and again and again and again and again.
Oh can't you see what I'm trying to say darlin'

I'd rather have my blood sucked out by leeches
Shove an ice pick under a toenail or two,
I'd rather clean all the bathrooms at Grand Central Station with my tongue
Than spend one more minute with you.

I'd rather jump naked on huge pile of thumbtacks
Or stick my nostrils together with Krazy Glue,
I'd rather dive into a swimming pool filled with rubble and razor blades
Than spend one more minute with you.

I'd rather rip my heart right out of my ribcage with my barehands
And then throw it on the floor and stomp on it 'til I die,
Then spend one more minute with you.